9elysia

i'm in a way better mood today. i finally am starting to put everything behind me and move on in life. i have so much i want to do, i have so much time, why waste all my energy being depressed and angry? why waste time and money on drugs? i don't  need them anyway, drugs are the root to my family problems, troubles with the law, and my personal issues. they are evil, and i realize just how bad it could of been for me if i wouldn't of had this "wake-up call". i'm lucky that this happened, because if it wouldn't of i would still be in that insnae world of drugs and lies. i would still be addicted to cocaine, probably would of became addicted to

I am still in the same bad mood that I was in the last time I wrote my journal entry. I really wish it would change. I have been trying to look at things in a better light. I have really been trying to be sooo optimistic and almost kind of fake my happiness to everyone else. I don't complain anymore to others, because I am pretty sure people are sick of it. Everyone complains though about their lives, so I really don't feel too bad for doing it. It does kind of make you feel better bitching about things that are shitty. On Nov. 11, I think, I have to go to a psychologist so she can just sit there and judge me and tell me what is wrong with me

i'm in this horrible mood right now. i used to be the most optimisitc person ever. i can't break myself of the mood i have been in for about two weeks. i'm only 16, so it's not like my problems are anything compared to anyone else's. it's just kind of good to get them all out by writing about it. I can't write so I type. The past two months, I have really gotten myself into a lot of trouble. I got into drugs kind of bad I suppose, then I ended up getting a bunch of drinking and driving tickets and such, I got myself almost to rehab, My mom thinks I need a child psychologist, Everyone in my family thinks I'm a piece of shit... I know it too. I